Drifting Away

Life’s circumstances has a way of pulling people closer to others but other times it has a way of pulling them apart. Relationships have three pillars, connection, support and honesty, and when one or more of these pillars are removed the whole relationship falls apart. When the circumstances of life and the relationship pillars conflict, at least one pillar is broken and the relationship drifts apart. Gregor Samsa, in Book One of Metamorphosis by Frankz Kafka, and his family allowed negative circumstances to pull them apart by removing the aspect of support. Book One is well worth the read especially for someone who feels like they are drifting away from others or need a reason to keep their relationship intact. 

Waking up one morning, Gregor Samsa is startled to find that he has turned into a bug. In his bed, “he lay on his armour-like back, and if he lifted his head a little he could see his brown belly, slightly domed and divided by arches into stiff sections” (Kafka). Horrified with his new appearance, Gregor tries to go back to sleep thinking about his life as he does. He realizes how his boring his life has become. He notes that “Doing business like this takes much more effort than doing [his] own business at home” (Kafka). Upset, Gregor realizes that he has been spending more time with his job than he has with his family, something that may people do when they chase only their own dreams. 

Gregor reminds himself that this is not how his life should be, that he should be there for his family more than he is his job. Finally, Gregor decides to come out of his room to see those who were waiting for him. Seeing Gregor’s now bug-like appearance, his mother passes out, the chief clerk runs from the apartment and his dad chases him back into his bedroom. Gregor knows at this point that he will never be able to make up for all the lost time with his family. This makes him very sad because he knows now that he realized the importance of family too late. 
  
Relationships are important for every person to have. Having many relationships can lead to stressful gatherings because everyone is constantly meeting with people to keep those relationships alive. When they cannot keep up with meeting all their friends, that person realizes that they have drifted from those who mean most to them. Fewer relationship, like Gregor had, can be stressful though too. As Gregor learned, all it takes is for those closest to you to learn your biggest secret and everything can be torn apart. Gregor’s family rejected him after he turned into a bug; and, although no one can really become a bug, those who keep major secrets from their closest friends can lose those relationships when the secrets come out. 

So, what can be learned from Book One of Metamorphosis by Frankz Kafka? Relationships need to be everyone’s first priority. Each person in the relationship needs to be sure that the relationship has strong pillars to hold it up. They need to make sure that when the circumstances of life and the relationship pillars conflict the relationship has a strong enough foundation to hold it together without destroying a pillar. That is not to say that pillars will to get damaged, because they will, but they need to be strong enough to survive the storm so they are still standing in the end. Fixing the damage in a relationship is easy compared to rebuilding it. So learn from Gregor, make strong relationships a priority and make it through the storms of life together.

What is Love?

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 "Love is PATIENT, love is KIND. It does NOT ENVY, it does NOT BOAST, it is NOT PROUD. It does NOT DISHONOR others, it is NOT self-seeking, it is NOT easily angered, it keeps NO record of wrongs. Love does NOT delight in evil but REJOICES with the truth. It always PROTECTS, always TRUSTS, always HOPES, always PERSEVERES."

No human on Earth is 100% love perfect. However, for some, love is a hard concept to wrap their head around while, for others, love comes freely. Some seem forced into loving someone, while others choose to love someone. The difference between the two is huge and it isn't until genuine love walks in that one realizes that forced love was what they were being given. Real love argues over little things but forgives easily. Real love is there for you when you need someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on. Real love does not tear the other down but builds them up and encourages them to follow their dreams and passions. Real love stays up in the middle of the night worried to death about the other one even if there is not something major to worry about. Real love lasts forever while forced love is left behind without a trace.